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'I Was A Fool To Be A Human Shield For Saddam'
Daniel Pepper Mar. 26, 2003
I wanted to join the human shields in Baghdad because it was direct
action
which had a chance of bringing the anti-war movement to the forefront
of
world attention.
It was inspiring: the human shield volunteers were making a sacrifice
for
their political views much more of a personal investment than going to
a
demonstration in Washington or London. It was simple you get on the bus
and
you represent yourself.
So that is exactly what I did on the morning of Saturday, January 25. I
am a
23-year-old Jewish-American photographer living in Islington, north
London.
I had travelled in the Middle East before: as a student, I went to the
Palestinian West Bank during the intifada. I also went to Afghanistan
as a
photographer for Newsweek.
The human shields appealed to my anti-war stance, but by the time I
left
Baghdad five weeks later my views had changed drastically. I wouldn't
say
that I was exactly pro-war no, I am ambivalent but I have a strong
desire to
see Saddam removed.
We on the bus felt that we were sympathetic to the views of the Iraqi
civilians, even though we didn't actually know any. The group was less
interested in standing up for their rights than protesting against the
US
and UK governments. I was shocked when I first met a pro-war Iraqi in
Baghdad a taxi driver taking me back to my hotel late at night. I
explained
that I was
American and said, as we shields always did, "Bush bad, war bad, Iraq
good."
He looked at me with an expression of incredulity.
As he realized I was serious, he slowed down and started to speak in
broken
English about the evils of Saddam's regime. Until then I had only heard
the
president spoken of with respect, but now this guy was telling me how
all of
Iraq's oil money went into Saddam's pocket, and that if you opposed him
politically he would kill your whole family.
It scared the hell out of me. First I was thinking that maybe it was
the
secret police trying to trick me, but later I got the impression that
he
wanted me to help him escape. I felt so bad. I told him: "Listen, I am
just
a schmuck from the United States, I am not with the UN, I'm not with
the CIA
I just can't help you."
Of course I had read reports that Iraqis hated Saddam Hussein, but this
was
the real thing. Someone had explained it to me face to face. I told a
few
journalists I knew. They said that this sort of thing often happened
spontaneous, emotional, and secretive outbursts imploring visitors to
free
them from Saddam's tyrannical Iraq.
I BECAME increasingly concerned about the way the Iraqi regime was
restricting the movement of the shields, so a few days later I left
Baghdad
for Jordan by taxi with five others. Once over the border we felt
comfortable enough to ask our driver what he felt about the regime and
the
threat of an aerial bombardment.
"Don't you listen to Powell on Voice of America radio?" he said. "Of
course
the Americans don't want to bomb civilians. They want to bomb
government and
Saddam's palaces. We want America to bomb Saddam."
We just sat, listening, our mouths open wide. Jake, one of the others,
just
kept saying, "Oh my God" as the driver described the horrors of the
regime.
Jake was so shocked at how naive he had been. We all were. It hadn't
occurred to anyone that the Iraqis might actually be pro-war.
Perhaps the most crushing thing we learned was that most ordinary
Iraqis
thought Saddam had paid us to come to protest in Iraq. Although we
explained
that this was categorically not the case, I don't think he believed us.
Later he asked me: "Really, how much did Saddam pay you to come?"
It hit me on visceral and emotional levels: This was a real portrayal
of
Iraqi life. After the first conversation I completely rethought my view
of
the Iraqi situation. My understanding changed on the intellectual,
emotional, psychological levels.
I remembered the experience of seeing Saddam's egomaniacal portraits
everywhere for two weeks and tried to place myself in the shoes of
someone
who had been subjected to seeing them every day for the last 20 or so
years.
Last Thursday night I went to photograph the anti-war rally in
Parliament
Square. Thousands of people were shouting "No war," but without
thinking
about the implications for Iraqis. Some of them were drinking, dancing
to
Samba music and sparring with the police.
It was as if the protesters were talking about a different country
where the
ruling government is perfectly acceptable. It really upset me. Anyone
with
half a brain must see that Saddam has to be taken out. It is
extraordinarily
ironic that the anti-war protesters are marching to defend a government
which stops its people exercising that freedom.
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